Country Road

I talked with God on a deserted country road tonight.  The frogs happy to see me I suppose and I was glad to hear them.  The hoofprints of moved cows made craters in the road from the rain, but instead of walking down the middle of the road to avoid them, I stepped over each one carefully.

On my journey south, the wind blew hard into my ears and it felt like no one would ever hear me talking out loed.  So I voiced my fears and concerns that I am facing now in life.  I love how he listens to what I have to say and how he fills my lungs clean air that blows through the tall grasses.  People say "Don't worry, things will change and will get better" which in my opinion is kind of a naive thing to say if they have no idea what is going on.  I remind myself that God said that he won't give us more than we can handle, so although the past can't be changed, he must think that I can handle it and that there is a good reason for what we go through.

It was such a bittersweet day.

Graduation.  I graduated from college a year early with high distinction which has my parents raving.  But I never took any of the "real" science or math classes so I don't know how much distinction there is in that title.   So many people were talking about potential jobs or graduate school and seemed so happy.  Really I don't know for sure where I am going in life - if Matthew can't find a job in the area life my take a different turn for us.  But graduating from college for me meant moving back home because no one wants to hire a girl for 6 weeks of the summer.  So I'm staying home helping my parents with their house - which isn't my cup of tea at all.  Home construction and decorating is just, well boring for me and I don't enjoy it.  Plus if you've ever moved back home after college you probably can relate-  it's hard.  You kind of feel under surveillance and its weird having people "around" all the time (I had a single room - a necessity for the hardcore introverts).  It's not that I don't love my parents, but it's time to go.

In the meantine, I'm ironing out details for the wedding.  Buying tickets to Universal Studios, renting the car, looking up bus schedules so we can actually get the hotel (public transportaion on vacation- weird but cheap).  The DJ wants his planning sheet back and the pastor wants to meet for our last marriage counseling and the invites have to all be sent out tuesday - no pressure.

So tonight, my prayer to God is for peace and understanding.  Understanding to not fear the challenges I've been given but to instead see how this hardship can benefit the Kingdom and maybe, just maybe, it brings a closeness between me and God that otherwise would have not existed.  I like to think so.